Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
