Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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