names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
