They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
