We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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