My friends, they love my intelligence
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
