ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
