i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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