I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This baby is an asshole
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
