he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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