Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
