no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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