OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
wow bdsm is so cute
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