Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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