I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
PANTIES FOUND
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