UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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