Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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