how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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