I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
