ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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