She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
