I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
