went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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