PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
