Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize