just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
