he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
