so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
