I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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