Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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