Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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