Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
