yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I cut my penus on the lid.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
