i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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