what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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