Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
