I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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