I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
