naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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