wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
