I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
