Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
