Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize