Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
