guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
