She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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