Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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