is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
