Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
