come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
