Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
