recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
