To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
