We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
