If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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