Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize