you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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