That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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