My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize