dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
