Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
