Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
