I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
