Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
