you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
