Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
