my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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